Burnout doesn't just happen to you. It's what happens when your system has had to keep going for too long, in a world that leaves little room to stop.
In this blog you'll read what's happening in your body, and what to focus on to recover. How to prevent burnout, you can read in my other blog.
The unfinished stress cycle
Your body is made for physical threats. A tiger. There's danger, your system goes into alarm, and you run or you fight. That movement completes the stress cycle. Your body shakes it off and returns to neutral.
But that's not how we live anymore. Today's threats are abstract. You can't touch them. A difficult email. A deadline. Tension in a meeting. Your body reacts in exactly the same way, but nothing sets you in motion. There's nothing to run from. So you stay in your chair, and you carry on.
The tension stays in your body. Your mind keeps churning. And before it has settled, the next one is already here.
That's an unfinished stress cycle. And you're not doing anything wrong. That's simply how the average workday is built. Lots of sitting, lots of stimuli, and few moments to let it go.
When the alarm never switches off
Once is no problem. Your system can handle a lot.
But it happens every day. Ten times a day. Sometimes for years. And it builds up.
Your alarm never fully switches off. Your nervous system is on all the time. Until there comes a moment when it can't anymore.
Then small things feel big. Your head refuses. What used to come naturally now costs everything.
Your body has tried very hard for a very long time. Now it's pulling the brake itself, to protect you. You're allowed to look at that gently.
Rest first
What you need most right now is rest. Lots of rest. More than you think.
And that's hard, especially for the people who end up here. You're good at keeping going. At willpower. Rest feels like doing nothing, and doing nothing feels like failing.
What helps to know: your brain uses the most energy. Thinking, planning, analysing, solving. That asks an enormous amount of a system that's already depleted.
So focus more on your body. Gentle movement. Rest. A walk, the dishes, a moment in the garden.
Picking up small tasks is fine, if it feels okay. But don't keep testing your mental capacity. Can I read a report yet? Can I manage that email? Keep your mental load light for now.
If you do anything with your head, let it be this: learning to let go. Putting less energy into all the thoughts. Into the urge to solve it, understand it, fix it.
Spot, Feel, Lead
Three phases help you move through this. They give you something to hold on to, and show you where to focus. The same three steps came back in the recap of my workshop at Wonders of Work.
- Spot. Break your pattern. Notice that you're switching on again. That you're churning, pushing, solving. Notice it, without going along with it straight away.
- Feel. Feel how it feels in your body. Which sensations, which emotions? Sadness, anger, fear, restlessness. Let it be there. You don't have to do anything with it. In burnout, this matters so much. You strengthen the connection with your body, and that awareness alone already helps your nervous system back to safety. It also helps you guard your boundaries. Your body often signals long before your head when it's becoming too much. But our drive for results and control is so strong that it drowns out that voice. By feeling, you build body awareness. A skill that helps you in your recovery, and for the rest of your life.
- Lead. In burnout, this mostly means gently coming back into regulation. Through movement. A walk. Shaking out your body, a good stretch. Learn to enjoy it within your limits, and grow your body awareness over time. That helps you feel safe again, and feel your boundaries better, now and later. Your breath helps too. Two short inhales through your nose and one long exhale through your mouth help your body recognise that it can relax. Leading is also about gently reframing your thoughts. For example:
- "I can't do anything anymore." becomes "This is something I can do."
- "I need to recover faster." becomes "My body has its own pace."
- "I've failed." becomes "My system was on for too long. Now I'm recovering."
- "I need to fix this." becomes "I don't need to fix anything right now."
- "I'm falling behind." becomes "This is where I am right now."
- "It went wrong again, I felt stressed." becomes a focus on "And there, I felt calm for a moment."
The feeling from step 2 is emotional regulation in its simplest form. Feeling what's there, without thinking it away. When you're overthinking, you're underfeeling. And often the thoughts get quieter once the feeling underneath gets space.
A tip. You'll go through a phase of discomfort. You want to be able to do much more than your body allows. Annoying as it is, don't avoid that feeling. Not by switching your feelings off. And not by doing what feels comfortable instead: jumping into action, and crossing your limits again. Stay with the discomfort. Notice how it feels in your body, and which emotions come with it.
How I can help
When I work with people in burnout, in my coaching, we don't analyse everything mentally. That only adds to the load, and it doesn't help you in this phase.
We work with small, practical tools. Ones that help you head in the right direction. Ones that help you be kind to yourself. And ones that help you find your way out of burnout. With your body, not only your head.
So you come out of it. And gain skills that stay with you for the rest of your life.
Coaching works best alongside good support from your GP or occupational physician. Make sure you have that too. Together, that gives your recovery the most support.
Feel it's time for support? Book a free intro call, and we'll look at what you need together. Prefer to start on your own first? On my inspiration page you'll find my mini programmes. Small, affordable, and often exactly what helps in this phase.